When are you going to realize that you have a good life and you are blessed and unstoppable? That you are smart and capable? When are you going to fight for the happiness you deserve because you are so much stronger than you think you are? Figure out your purpose in life and what makes you happy and FIGHT FOR IT.

3 Things to do Right Now to Help With Your Addiction or Life Struggle

Everyone is struggling with SOMETHING. You are not alone. If you can’t seem to kick that addiction or are in a depression or are struggling with some life problem, try these quick 3 things right now to start the process of getting mentally strong. You can’t beat it unless your mind is stronger than it. Yes, you will have to actually think and look inside yourself. So grab a piece of paper and a pen (or if you’re like me, open up your Notes app on your phone) and get to it.

  1. Write down 3 goals you want for your life. It’s YOUR life, what do you want for it? Don’t know where to start? Here are 3 goals I want for my life: 1. Pay off my debt, 2. Buy a house, 3. Have an online business. Or check out this article on goals: http://jackiebledsoe.com/80-goals-that-provide-motivation-for-me-my-life-goals/

 

  1. Write down 3 things you are grateful for right now. Gratitude is a major tool to fight stress hormones and beat the negativity. Doesn’t matter what it is, it is what you have now that you are grateful for. Your children, your car that works, your job. Anything.

 

 

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  1. Write down 3 of the most important people to you. If you don’t have any, write down 3 characteristics that you would want in a close friend. Someone honest? Someone funny to make you laugh? Someone that will just listen? Someone going through what you are going through?

 

 

This may seem stupid at first but it is very important for every person to have a purpose in life and have something on their mind besides that substance or problem that is repeating over and over in their head.

Now that you wrote it down, put it somewhere that you will see it every day, multiple times a day.

Have you ever heard of “out of sight out of mind”? It’s true. I need it in front of my face to remember it many times a day.

Do you have some good life goal ideas that would help someone else? Please comment below and share it with someone that needs your help.

Follow my blog by clicking the link at the bottom of the page or to the right so you never miss a post that could help you.

With Love,

Tammy Lee 🌴

This is from the National Institute of Drug Abuse:

“Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences.† It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain—they change its structure and how it works. These brain changes can be long-lasting, and can lead to the harmful behaviors seen in people who abuse drugs.”

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/drug-abuse-addiction

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There are many forms of the drug addict just like there are many forms of and alcoholic. Once you are a drug addict you never “stop being a drug addict”. You are then a drug addict in remission because you still carry that gene and risk with you always. People take drugs to feel good, numb the pain or numb emotions, to do better, because they are curious, etc. They can use drugs occasionally, frequently, or all day every day. But they don’t realize (or care) that their drug use effects other people around them. Using drugs is a selfish, individual thing and not a 2 person or family activity. It is solely in the brain of one person who then takes the action. I am told that is is a “disease” and the drug-addict has no control. That is hard for me to understand because I have always been on the other end of the spectrum. I don’t do drugs but I have watched it destroy lives and have lived through the crazy-making days and what I do know is that these are some clues of drug use:

  • Denial – They become defensive. “I can stop at any time I want”, “it’s really not that bad because I haven’t ruined my life because I still have a job and a house to live in”

  • Withdrawal – issues or changes with sleep behavior, digestion problems, changes in mood or normal behavior.

  • Secrecy- They hide what they are doing because they don’t want to admit that they are doing anything bad. They lie to cover up what they are doing so they can continue using. They don’t want their work to see them as “that guy” or anyone to know who they really are.

  • Obsessiveness – They will focus on one thing and not let that go.

Do not try to argue with a drug addict. Do not try and reason with them. You will only exhaust yourself and make no change whatsoever. Find yourself a Nar-Anon meeting to go to in your area: http://www.nar-anon.org/find-a-meeting

Focus on yourself! If you are in a relationship with a drug addict then chances are you are Co-Dependent (like me) and a Care-Taker (like me).

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Check out the rest of this site and hopefully you can find some helpful information.

I would love to know your thoughts on Drug Addiction or anything here because I am trying to learn more for my own sanity and mental strength. Please comment below or send me a message on the contact page or any other social media link. Don’t forget to sign up and follow my blog via email!

With Love,

Tammy 🌴💕

What happened to entrepreneurs starting a business or being in business to make a difference in the world?? What happened to people wanting to find their purpose in life and wanting to help others on a personal level?

Everywhere I turn it is “how to make a gazillion dollars fast” or “how to have the gazillionaire lifestyle with the boats and house on the beach”.

Yes, social media is taking over and technology is everywhere you look, but that doesn’t mean we need to lose sight of what really matters. If you have all of these internet get rich businesses, who is going to be left to run the store businesses? The real brick and mortar small businesses that make this country thrive?

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I hear people complain about the big corporations taking over the country getting rich. But that is because you are letting them. You are not standing up for the small businesses. You have an idea for a small business but you are too scared to actually do something about it. You would rather take the easy route that’s less work and do an online get rich quick scheme. In turn, you are teaching your kids that you don’t really need to work hard. You are teaching them to just give in and do it the easy way. Not cool.

If you need help that’s perfectly okay. You can ask for help and you SHOULD ask for help. I have done a lot of research on business and personal development and what works and what doesn’t. There are many different ways to do things for different people but the important part is to just do it. I am working on building this site to make it easy and help you to just do what makes you happy and make a difference.

For now you can check out the Small Business Administration in your area or contact me with any questions about where to start.

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Maybe together we can stand up for the little guy and make a difference.

With hope and love,

Tammy Lee

palmtrees2pinetrees@gmail.com

Follow Palm Trees 2 Pine Trees on WordPress.com

This is my very first blog post, so please forgive me. This is about finding your happiness.

🌴Palm Trees 2 Pine Trees🌲 is about doing what you love and doing what makes you happy. So here are the cliff notes…

I am 33 years old and have lived my whole life in California where the palm trees are la-palm-treesbeautiful and abundant. Everyone wants to live or visit there. More specifically, I lived in Los Angeles. I was born and raised there but never quite felt like I fit in. Had a normal family, moved away, got married and had a child. But then I got divorced, moved back home, and learned a lot about drug abuse and how it ruins families. I struggled as a single mom for a while and met an amazing man at work one day. He reminded me about how I never quite fit in in LA and how I always dreamed of moving away some day. After a year of dating he had to move back home, so we did the long distance relationship thing for another year and a half. Amazingly, and to the shock of us and everyone else, we made it work. I have struggled with anxiety and depression all my img_2979life, but I finally dug up the courage to quit my jobs (2 jobs and 2 businesses) and moved myself and my son to Oregon to start fresh. It has been 2 months now living the small town life with the pine trees and I have never been happier. Of course there have been struggles and stresses, but I am so very glad I made that leap and can’t wait to see what our future has in store for us.

10 Things You Don’t Know About Being a Single Mom

10 Things You Don’t Know About Being a Single Mom

  1. You have to have at least 2 jobs to make up for that absent second parent’s paycheck to survive.

  2. You have to learn how boy parts work so you can explain to

your son why and tell him, “don’t worry it’ll go down soon”.

  1. You learn new skills that you never had an interest in to save money…like haircuts.

  2. Every person that said they will help and would love to help babysit when your kids were born suddenly disappear and are always busy when you need a babysitter.

  3. Everyone, and I mean E.V.E.R.Y. O.N.E. will have their opinion on how you should raise your kids and what you should be doing.

  4. You have to be good cop AND bad cop.

  5. If you have just 1 child you can take them everywhere fun and not worry about anyone else and what THEY want to do.

  6. You learn that time is precious and there are 24 hours in day that you can use to get shit done. You learn how to squeeze in errands or meetings or play time.

  7. Your children will turn out just like you and develop the same habits, thinking, and traits that you have because you are the sole role model. So personal development is super important to be the best example.

  8. Single moms are some of the most incredibly strong and independent people you will ever meet in your life, so if you know a single mom or run into one please let her know how amazing she is tell her she is doing a great job.

If you are a single mom or have any other things to add please comment below or email me at palmtrees2pinetrees@gmail.com.

#whatsyourstruggle

With Love 💕,

Tam

A Single Mom

What’s Your Struggle

Everyone is going through something in their life. Everyone is dealing with their own struggle of some sort. So you are not alone. It could be a struggle with drug addiction, struggle with a spouse’s drug addiction, struggle with work, struggle with deciding what to do for work, struggle with what to cook for dinner every night, struggle with your business that you just started. It could be a struggle with a narcissistic parent or family member, a struggle with a crazy boss, a struggle with child bullying or suicide.

Life does this amazing thing and gives you these gifts of opportunities disguised as struggles. Without struggle there is no learning and no growth. The person that does not struggle is not challenged and therefore will not grow as a human being. The strongest people are the ones that come from a life of struggles. They have learned and grown from it. I am told I have had a hard life, but I only see the gifts of learning experiences in my past. And my life was still not as hard as some people’s lives were or are. I have been told that I am a good problem solver. I believe that comes from my experiences and all of the struggles I’ve had to deal with.

You are only challenged with the struggle because you are strong enough to handle it even if you don’t know it yet. You will. And you can not let that struggle define you or stop you.

Trust. Your. Struggle.

With Love,

Tammy

Palmtrees2pinetrees@gmail.com

Bring Back Please and Thank You

There was another bomb attack? Another shooting? You think gun control is the solution??

This post is to remind parents of the need for more attentiveness with their children and the need for more discipline to create respect, manners, and thoughtfulness in their children to grow up not being bullied and avoid any more mass shootings. Guns are not the problem; bad parenting is.

We need to bring back “please and thank you” and all forms of manners and respect for oneself and the community by having parents be informed of the importance of good parenting.

All things can be prevented.

• Shootings come from negative feelings from bullying or kids not knowing the difference between fiction and reality

• Bullying can be prevented by building a child’s confidence when they are young. It will not matter what a bully says because the child will not get hurt or listen to the negative words

• Confidence comes from parents telling their kids that they are worth it and they matter

Lessons for My Kids

Positive Things to Say to Your Child

To some parents this seems like a burden or a pain, but it could save your child’s life.

Mental Health plays a big role in it as well. Psychological help has been lacking in the United States. Doctors are so quick to give medicine and send people on their way and people are so quick to crack down, squeeze, and try to control problems instead of taking the time to figure out WHY it is happening and get down to the core problem to find a solution. Why does someone turn to drugs? Why does someone feel the need to bully someone else? Why does someone have the desire to shoot or blow up a bunch of people?? If you study it long enough you tend to find a pattern.

My personal experience comes from drug addiction. Not me personally, although I struggle with my own demons, but close to my family and close to my heart. The need for a drug or substance is to escape. They need to escape their lives and reality because they are unhappy.

Make Yourself Happy

Only you can make yourself happy. You can’t rely on anyone else to make you happy. You can’t rely on anyone else to be there for you. In the end it’s just you. You are alone at the end of the day even if you are sleeping next to someone. You can’t expect anything from anyone because they will always disappoint you. What makes you happy? What could you do by yourself all day and be blissfully happy? I have struggled with this for so long. Have you ever heard of the word Co-Dependency? It is a term that is hard to define. But basically you rely on others too much. You are not confident enough in yourself and you let other people’s emotions control your life. Most often than not a codependent will find themselves in a relationship with an alcoholic, drug addict, or some other addict. The co-dependent is a control freak who feels like they have to control everything to make it go “right” because nobody can do it as well as they can.

This book is great and helped me understand Codependency more.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0894864025/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_GHBRAbXJRME55

I’m looking for more books to read and understand it more, but for now I just know that I am a Codependent in recovery. You can’t be in a truly healthy relationship if you are codependent and unhappy, so worry about making yourself happy and that’s it.

Are you or anyone you know codependent? If you don’t want to comment below, send me an email at palmtrees2pinetrees@gmail.com and share with me your thoughts on it. Are you dealing with it? Do you know any other good books on the subject?

Thanks for reading!! I hope to hear from some of you!

Stop Complaining! 3 Ways to Change Your Thinking NOW

This post is a little bit of unedited hard truth. People complain about their current situation and where they are in their lives. They feel sorry for themselves and want others to feel sorry for them too. But nobody is going to feel sorry for you. They want sympathy from everyone else yet they are not willing to go out and make things happen to change their current situation and change their lives. I used to be one of those people. Always feeling like the victim. Who you are and where you are in life is based on your own decisions. You decided to sit and watch tv instead of go out and look for a job. You decided to eat that donut and every one before it which led to you being obese. You hate your job yet you decided to stay there and be miserable because you were too scared to go find a job that makes you happy. Where does complaining get you? It keeps you in the same spot and makes you miserable in that spot.

That is like standing in the middle of the street with no umbrella when it is pouring down rain and complaining that you’re getting wet. So stop complaining. Nobody wants to hear it anyway. Start doing. Everyone wants to see you do something. The biggest regret you will ever have is not doing something.

  1. Show gratitude. Gratitude for anything in your life will release brain chemicals that counter the stress chemicals in your brain. You cannot be grateful and angry at the same time. It is just not possible.

  2. Get a pen and paper now. Yes, I’m serious. Write down 3 goals that you want to achieve. ANY goals. Anything that you want to change. Don’t put too much effort into it. The point is to activate another part of your brain to let it start working on finding a solution to get you to your goal. It can be to drink another glass of water per day. It can be to not hit the snooze button that 4th time. It can be to think of something you’re grateful for (see what I did there? Mixed two in one). Nothing too big.

  3. Say something out loud like, “I am going to stop complaining.” Once it is spoken out loud it is set to be true. It can be that or anything else that is positive and self directed. “I am beautiful”. “I am strong”. “I am resourceful”. Just one thing and repeat it 3 times. Yes, that number 3 again. It’s like the magic number.

Try it and see how you feel immediately after. The point is to break the complaining train and train your brain to work differently. 😄 This isn’t a magic fix that will completely change your thinking and mindset and everything for the rest of your life. Change comes with practice and persistence. Practice this every time you want to complain and I guarantee the complaints will get less and less.

Good luck and please post a comment or send me a message telling me how it worked for you or if you have anything to add.

Nar-Anon

Nar-Anon is something I never even dreamed of. I never imagined I would be looking for a nar-anon group or a solution to help me cope with another’s drug addiction.

http://www.nar-anon.org/what-is-nar-anon/

Wikipedia says, “Nar-Anon, known officially as “Nar-Anon Family Groups”, is a twelve-step program for friends and family members of those who are affected by someone else’s addiction. Nar-Anon is complementary to, but separate from, Narcotics Anonymous (NA), analogous to Al-Anon with respect to Alcoholics Anonymous; Nar-Anon’s traditions state that it should “always cooperate with Narcotics Anonymous.”

For so long I blamed myself (because he told me it was my fault he used) instead of accepting that I had nothing to do with it. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There is the 12 step program that can be used for any addiction and any treatment. How much I believe in it for myself I’m not sure. But the idea is definitely correct. Release control. Look inside yourself. Accept responsibility. The drug addict who thinks he can beat the addiction alone and without the 12 steps with surely fail.

Drug Addition hurts so many people besides the drug addict themselves, but they are too selfish to realize that. The same is true for all addictions.

If you or someone you know is battling these demons, please know that you are not alone. We are not alone.

When I Grow Up

What do I want to be when I grow up? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I am a little behind on the whole “knowing what I want to do” and “knowing what my likes and hobbies are” thing. Growing up I always did what someone else wanted. Their likes and hobbies. I never stopped to think what I actually like. Now, it’s hard for me to have hobbies or even know what I would want my hobbies to be.

The experts say that you should have a career that you love and do something that is a hobby that you enjoy doing. Well that is difficult when you don’t know what your hobbies are, right?

So I am 34 and asking myself what do I want to be when I grow up? It is never too late to ask this question. I know that I don’t want to work for someone else that doesn’t know how to run their own business. I don’t want to work a 9-5 and get nothing out of my job. I know there has to be more for me. So I have been studying business and successful people and bookkeeping like a crazy person. I also like helping people and motivating people by sharing all of the stuff I’ve learned.

Remember that it’s never too late to follow your dreams and do something that you love for a living. I know I’ll find my way and I know you will too. What do YOU want to be when you grow up? Let me know in the comments below!

I Am a Single Mom

I have been scared to write this because of what people would think, but I am hoping that someone will read this that is going through or went through the same thing.

My son is now 7 years old and I have been a single mom for 6.9 of those years. He technically has a father but we found out how ugly and painful drug abuse is and how it can destroy families. Yay for learning!

When my son was born my mom stayed with me for a week to help me take care of him. After she left my ex-husband just slept…in his room…by himself. I never saw him and we lived in the same house. The house of my father-in-law. More fun stories to come from that one. So he told me to “text him if I really needed something” 😑. That’s when I learned about pills and what they can do. I slept in the nursery with my son and recovered from giving birth while I took care of this newborn. After a year and a half, I couldn’t take it anymore so I packed up what I could and moved back in with my parents to start over. I got a job (or two or three) to make ends meet and pay off this massive amount of debt that I’d collected.

Child support? What’s that? Even when I have a signed court document saying he will agree to pay a certain amount a month there is always some excuse as to why he can’t give me money. So now I have this super awesome, super great, super helpful $5,000 IOU. 👍🏻

But thanks to the lack of support from the co-creator of this amazing human being I call my son, I can proudly say that I am a single mom taking care of a son that I have raised on my own. And I have learned first hand about drugs and addiction. But I have not regretted anything in my life. Everything has made me a stronger and more independent person. Please comment on this post if you can relate to ANY of this.

Learn to regret nothing and be grateful for everything. Life is too short.

I have been waiting for the right moment to start a blog. I have been waiting for the right things to write about. Doing the whole “I’ll start it when I become an expert on a subject”.

Fuck it. I have a ton of shit to say and I’m just going to word vomit on anyone that will read this.

I am told that I have been through a lot and my stories could possibly help someone.

So I will write about happiness, codependency, drug abuse, narcissism, psychology, work, business, being a single mom, food, ADHD, OCD, and whatever else comes to mind. Once a week. Every week. I learn something new every day, so hopefully I can learn how to share what I’ve learned. I love hearing what other people think so if you actually read this please comment below. Anything…good or bad.